i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need water and some morals
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
