I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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