So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
