If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
