i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
