He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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