Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
