We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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