Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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