So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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