It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
