Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
