What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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