how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
