She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
