Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
