I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
