Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
