It was confusing and full of hummus
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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