She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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