Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
