I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
