Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
