wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
