He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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