I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
im on a boat
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