she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
