Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
