I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
