I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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