four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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