So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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