Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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