Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize