his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
