end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
