So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
