I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
