This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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