first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
