i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
