I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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