Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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