we made out on top of his cat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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