he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My bed smells like the plague
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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