Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my poor anus
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
