I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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