I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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