Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
