wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize