please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
