Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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