Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize