He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
