Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
