You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
