Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
