: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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