There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
