the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
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Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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