Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
