You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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