I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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