Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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